How do you tell???
As blunt, honest and soon as possible.

I was recently in a short relationship and as soon as I saw him try to control my every move, I let him know how I felt. After a few more weeks of repeating myself and knowing that this was just the beginning of things to come, I figured it was time for me to move on.

Answered by LadyDeeAge : 31 1 month ago Edit Delete

Answered by LadyDee 1 month ago

These has helped alot of couples I know:

Defusing Explosive Arguments
Some have found that it is easier to slow down anger and address underlying issues if they put emphasis on their feelings rather than on their mate's actions. For example, "I feel hurt because of what you said" is much more effective than "You hurt me" or "You should know better than to say that." Of course, when expressing how you feel, the tone of your voice should not be laced with bitterness or contempt. Your objective should be to highlight the problem rather than attack the person.—Genesis 27:46-28:1.

In addition, always remember that there is "a time to keep quiet and a time to speak." (Ecclesiastes 3:7) When two people are talking at the same time, neither one is listening, and nothing is accomplished. So when it is your turn to listen, be "swift about hearing, slow about speaking." Equally important, be "slow about wrath." (James 1:19) Do not take literally every harsh word that your mate utters; neither "hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended." (Ecclesiastes 7:9) Instead, try to perceive the feelings behind your mate's words. "The insight of a man certainly slows down his anger," says the Bible, "and it is beauty on his part to pass over transgression." (Proverbs 19:11) Insight can help a husband or wife look beneath the surface of a disagreement.

For example, a wife's complaint that her husband does not spend time with her is likely not simply about hours and minutes. It may have more to do with her feeling neglected or unappreciated. Similarly, a husband's grievance concerning an impulsive purchase that his wife made is probably not just about dollars and cents. It may be more about his feeling left out of the decision-making process. The husband or wife having insight will probe beneath the surface and get to the core of the problem.—Proverbs 16:23.

Is this easier said than done? Absolutely! Sometimes, despite the best of efforts, unkind words will be spoken and tempers will flare. When you see this start to happen, you may need to follow the advice of Proverbs 17:14: "Before the quarrel has burst forth, take your leave." There is nothing wrong with postponing the discussion until feelings have cooled down. If it is difficult to talk without things getting out of hand, it may be advisable to have a mature friend sit down with the two of you and help you to sort through your differences.%

AWAKE JANUARY 8,2001

Answered by nychelpAge : 29 1 month ago Edit Delete

Answered by nychelp 1 month ago